That'll be Greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.

Upon doing some accounting for the business that i actually don't work for [but spend about 50%+ of my time doing work for] i noticed i'm making less money than our pizza chef guy.

ooooooooooooooh. depressing.

It'd be cool if i could somehow develop the balls to bring up this issue. it's not hard. my boss is awesome... and there has even been talk flying around for the last two months about a raise. but... ooooooooooooooh.

talked to mr. blu sanders today. he's cool... great musician. needs to be in denver...playing...often. will try to make that happen. i know johnny m's a fan. if you're up near chi-town, have you seen him? if you go to college, have you seen him? if you haven't... why not?

blu's down in nashville. i want to visit there. i think it'd be hardcore fun to be in such an active, happenin' music town. [not just country]. frankly... i'd like to be anywhere but here right now. i really need a vacation. ho's goin to italy in [count it:] 11 days. i hope she brings herself a hottie italian man. rawr. i also hope she learns the name of her neighbor that is watching her puppers for 1/2 the time she will be in europe. har har har.

have my sami fashionista skirt on today. actually... my favorite outfit at the moment. the back has a longer drape than the front, and because of this sewing pattern, i'm beginning to understand why peacocks strut their shit all over Denver Zoo.

feeling i need to do some dancing at the hot hot heat concert tonight. but not sure if i'll be goin' at it alone, with wifey, or if i'll skip it all, stay home and go to sleep [fun!].

reading up on pop culture here, here, and here.
every time i see freaking kevin federline i want to hurl. he looks exactly like the fucking awesome italian from late summer. we're talking twins seperated at birth. who knew britney and i went for the same men?



[sidenote]: if you do in fact live in denver, and happen to see a guy in his 20s that looks like mr. f... run. really, really fast in some direction that is not toward the guy. he'll probably have the same stupid expression on his face.

Hush...

Who is J? To put it simply...he is my 28-year-old best friend...semi...ex...history...type...thing who is student counseler by day, and singer/songwriter whore by nights and weekends.

Recently, in a conversation about the Hot Project:
J: How old is he?
Me: 28
J: You're dating a 28-year-old musician?
Me: Yes.
J: heeheee. hee.
Me: Shut-up.

When i woke up in his bed this morning[not j's], i noticed he had ironically similar sheets and comforter to the j-man. - minus the plaid, and minus the uncomfortability [i.e. the HUGE dent in the middle of the mattress]. not to mention their birthday's are only a few weeks apart...and both equally passionate about pursuing the music biz thing... and, one other thing, that if you know said jman well enough, would know as well.

Despite the few blaring similarities, the buck stops there, and they really aren't alike at all.

but isn't it wierd that they both have the same taste in women?

heave, ho.

i apparently have a short attention span. hence, why the template has already changed [is the link box showing up for everyone? i can't get it on my home comp... let me know, please?]. also- heard this is taking an EXTREMELY long time to load. i have no idea why - if anyone can help... at all. i'm totally open to suggestions.

shayna girl...who did my hair on thursday, wanted me to come back in. i spent another two+ hours today and decided to cut all of my hair off:

I think it'll be fun, but in this moment when i'm surrounded by pictures of friends and me with really long hair, i'm having fleeting moments of, "ooooooh! :-/"

good weekend for all? my wifey made me pancakes [complete with fresh berries] sat morning, then entertained all day [long drives, shopping at way-too-cool vintage stores in old down town fort and cookies].

suprise, suprise, the hot project calls and wants to get together about 9pm...really a [pleasant] suprise because since he had his daughter all weekend, i wasn't expecting to hear from him until she left mid-next week.

i slept pretty hard last nite, which is more than i can say for my usual routine of sleeping over at a boys' house. but...after my hair appointment and grocery shopping, i came home at two and passed the fuck out until 7pm. woke up freaked. where am i...? what day is it..? what the...?.

just a little info for all the peeps that happen to be obsessed with america's next top model. season three's marathon ran yesterday on vh1 alllllll day [which rocks because celbreality crapped out due to the academy's tonight]. and...ANTM Cycle FOUR starts monday [i'm still waiting for tyra's hair to not be orange]. this girl is pretty hot, but since she's 25, i'm thinking she won't win. this tatiana chic may have a decent shot...souley based on her age, and the fact that she has a cool model name [see: latetia costa, helena christiansa...tyra?!]i'll have to do more research until i make an official statement.

with american idol competing on fox, what ever will i do??

*sigh* my life is so sad.

arh

i'm having a fleeting feeling that this is not posting my posts... and i'm hoping i will not have to start over.
in otherwords, this is just a test.

haha

Egomania

gotsta do it... because

1. i'm a bit of a camera voyer --- i.e. a loser
2. i got my hair done tonight
[i make lots of lists]

we have super blonde on top....with a few red/violet stitches (pretty damn subtle)
and we darkened the bottom. i love it. i swear, blonde makes you feel hot. it really is true what they say...you know... about blondes.

There are Musicians...

and then there are those people that work with them.

if you stay up to date with the kick-ass "guilty pleasures" on my sidebar (over there... on the right...below the photo...you know. RIGHT THERE), then you may have checked out ryan adams's latest website content.

what you may not have noticed, and what i didn't see until today, is that if you roll your mouse enough over the photo [and the worms]... that is on the site, you can click to hear a phone conversation between Mr. Adams, himself...and two folks from Lost Highway Records.

[so go HERE and try the bottom right of the image... in the black area. some white text should pop up). listen. feed your ears a little snack. mmm...earsnack.]

It's a Jolly Holiday for You, Bert

My squirelly friend stopped by again this morning. i left him an berry/fig newton thing from Wild Oats. All the granola was gone, so i'm guessing he's a fan.

Finally got my ipod to play songs on my work computer. Amen, because i stayed up until 3-fucking-am working on music. not really that obnoxious, because i found all my old-school stuff (howie before he was a dick, johnny m. before his head blew up and he realized he was a rockstar). cheers me up. just need old-school jason and all those songs from freshman year. gawd, i'm so old.

i'm loving the hot project. he stopped by today just to say hi... i'm sure if i had a sense of smell, this is the part where i would say, 'he smells so yummy.' --- tho last time he was in here, suzy smelled bip and said he smelled like cologne... so i'm guessing he tries...

i think i also realized how people must feel when i am intently listening to something interesting... because he looks at me the same way when i talk. it's kind of intimidating/nerve-wracking... and kind of like THIS picture

today was rent day... even tho i'm still waiting on two bands to pay up. i always laugh, because these band boys are so cute.

instead of paying me on time, they leave me little love notes on the envelopes...

one band is all in high school. they're one of my favorites because they are so greatful for their space, and so adorably young... and they always pay their rent in halves.

The first envelope always says, "The rest will be coming ASAP."

The second always says something like this:




Another Band is usually on time... v.. cool peeps as well... but this month, a little late in turning in cash:



working in music is glamorous...!

i will have to update more frequent... my wifey and i can't talk anymore. Her cell phone bill this for last month = $253. SUCK. but still...really, really funny.


"Her phone bill's too big. Her phone bill... is TOO big."

Check her burrito birthday card --- it def goes into the "Top Three cards of all time" -

The List:
(in no particular order)

1. The burrito Birthday Card
2. The Matt/Sammath Xmas Card from my dear, dear Raquillis (Santa had a wooden soldier in his pocket...or did he?)
3. The Aerosmith Birthday Card from my Step Dad --- long write up using ALL Aerosmith song titles --- He got me a trip to go see them when i was 16. RAWK!

but back to the burrito card:

Say Hello To my Little Friend:

This is my new little buddy...and had i not been suuuuper late to work this morning, i would have had to wait until another day to truley make his aquaintence.

I knew he existed because i'm one of "those people" that hates to take out the trash. I have a patio... so i leave a few bags out there, then shut my blinds so i can pretend like it doesn't exist.

A few weeks back, i came to finally take out the few bags that had accumulated... and i found a banana peel sans banana, like i had previously left it, a sack of bagles chewed into, and some other random packaged opened and sifted through.

I saw him skirtin around for some more food a few days later, but as soon as i went to check him out, he bolted down the oake tree by my window.

But today...today was special. We made eye contact:



and he danced around on my ledge for about three minutes, totally showing off.



I threw some granola out there for him... and then sat out on the porch. He came not one foot from me, stared at me, then grabbed his chest as if to say ... "For me?"

I told him i'd leave him little snacks, so stop by often. He's a fuckin' cool squirrel... and i know he's a man, cause i saw his...junk.

One thing tho... what do i name this bachelor squirrel? Help me out kids...

What an Odd Question

I guess this is what you get when you talk to random people online...

recieved message:
From: [censored - make up a cool name]
To: Samantha Jo
Date: Yesterday, 11:02am
Subject: Q

If you learned that your boyfriend had a fantasy, about watching while you were having sex with another guy, how would you react...?

I"ll entertain bizarre requests:

From: Samantha Jo
To: [censored - make up another cool name]
Date:just now
Subject:RE:Q

That's a very odd question... but i'd probably say it'd have to depend on how my boyfriend was as a person, and how serious i was about him...

the guy i'm seeing now? i doubt he'd ever have such a fantasy... he's a rockstar and rockstars are pretty self-absorbed. sex without him? never!

Is the guy famous? hot? nice? good in bed? attentive? free of stds and scary obligations?
i'd probably do it, if it would make my honey happy and you know...i benefited with funness, but in the end, i think it would just create way too many complexes. "oh my god, is he better than me?.." "no" "You're LYING!"

Plus, there's the factor that I just took way too much time in my decision process on the particular matter.

you see what i mean...
-------------------------------------------------------------

Men are so Smart. Men are so Smart... S-m-R-T... i mean, S-m-a-r-t.

The Bitch Block

First...
my neck is stiff from...(explicit delete)
i was an hour late for work today.
my ipod is having trouble catching a good radio station feed.

Second...

Life's a bitch when you have to work 800x as hard to prove your worth in your job.

a. because i'm a girl
b. because i'm 23.
c. because all of my 'great' ideas get totally swiped up by my 'partner,' who is then praised with all of the credit.

it's just like in high school when we had 'group projects' and i ended up doing all of the work and my partners got the grades. what....the...fuck.

i wish everyone would fucking stop doubting me! funny...all the bands that i suggested for our venue waaay back in november are all playing at big theaters now... i.e the fox in boulder, bluebird, gothic, etc. everytime i bring up an idea, they're like... 'well...there's an issue of staffing,' ... umm... 'that doesn't sound cool.'

hi. i'm THE demographic for music listeners out there. not 35 year-olds... not 44-year-old men with families... ME. and probably YOU if you're reading this. 'yes, pat. i'd like to buy a clue.'

how about coming up with a different excuse, because hmm... all the shows i've booked in there so far have done pretty fuckin' farely well. i'm not asking full control, here. i just want to be involved...(it's getting better)...and to not be kept out of some loops (e-mails, phone calls regarding important show info). and to not be walked along like i'm a baby who doesn't know what she's talking about.


anyway. these will cheer anyone up:

what the...?



you can tell she's mine...



yuppie-town america.




i can smellllll you. she wanted to slaaaap me.



I am...the Sushi Bandit.



I play chopstick like yanni...and dress like sweedish rockstar.



drummer suzy strikes again... you can see the comparisson.



I'm thinking i may need a burrito thursday a little sooner than bursday.

but i really, really need to upload a picture of suzy's burrito birthday card. haha.

I am a baNAna!

hahaha.

is it wrong that i think this is funny? (click the pic)

That was quite insightful. Please, regale us with more of your witticisms.

You remember the movie. Rat-Pack-O-Rama Era.

Such was my birthday yesterday... fast-forwarded seven years...

Mostly because this is a movie about a girl... named Samantha... who had a birthday...

Not so much that everyone forgot. Now that I think about it...A lot of people remembered. I was just in a shit mood and thank my wifey for putting up with me, immensly (you are the biggest rockstar) and going out of her way to make sure i was happy. tuff job, ho... you're great. if "he-who-shall-not-be-mentioned" can not fucking get that into his head, then...too fuckin' bad for that bitch. plus, how could anyone resist your burrito cards!?

I don't know what my problem was, it just didn't feel like my birthday...at all. all i felt like doing was laying in bed and moping about it. so lame.

"Sami, i love you. You're a beautiful person, now get the FUCK out of bed."

Off to Boulder we went.

(let's accentuate the positive).

I felt all colleged-out with my bright-yellow sweatpants, complete with wording on the ass. I swore i'd never do it, but when you check out victoria's secret... what are you to do, really? (p.s., they have new bra-boxes. SNEAKY way to try and sell women more slinky things!)

We didn't see Paris Hilton, or Brad Pitt... or Bruce Willis (all in town for the NBA All-Star Game)... but since Paris left her phone lyin' around town...we did try calling a few people on her contact list. Ashley Olsen had her phone off...RiteAID was pre-recorded, and Vin Diesel has some jamaican accent on the outgoing. Paris... you are a deushbag. There used to be pictures from her camera phone here but i'm sure the disclaimer says it all. Licky for you... a sweet-ass blogger put some up himself:



Suzy bought me a tulip. We saw wicked sweet houses, as well as Sigma Nu boys playing volleyball like we were in San Diego.
Bella had her cupcake treat, beacause that bitch turned one on friday. Some guy on the Boulder mall with a 14-foot high unicycle kept yelling, "SHOWTIME! DON"T ANYBODY WATCH ME," Then when people didn't watch, he got mad. When they offered to take a look, he gave them specific instructions on where to sit, how to face, to shut the fuck up.

I missed the show because it rained... but as we were walking back, he looked at me and said, "I like cake, too."

I'm still trying to figure out what this means...

i actually got an e-mailed forward from one of my best girlfriends (on my birthday). when i said, "please no forwards", she got mad at me for not respecting her views that mean so much to her (i totally respect them.. any other day it would be fine... but yesterday...it was my birthday). all you had to do was send me a 'happy birthday, bitch." (it was my fucking birthday!).

someone flaked on dinner plans, so suzy, sami, adam and "dan, dan, the overtly-assertive backseat driving directional man" went for sushi *yummmmmmmm*.

My best good one called me ... well, actually, he had the hot drummer boy from the loveblisters call me [hello, abercrombie model], and then jumped on speaker phone with robbie and j and talked about sex, threesomes, and videotaping opportunities. He also told me, that had he been in the studio recording, it would have been a legitimate reason to not have called me...i saw bullshit, as there are 24 fucking hours in a day (that is 1440 minutes, 86,400 seconds) to have called me otherwise. Then he said he thot about waiting until 11:59p.m. so that i could be mad all day and then suprised. ASS.

And just like lovely Samantha Baker, I, too got my studly Jake at the end of the night. Such a perfect, perfect, lovely night and morning...until the last fucking five minutes i was there.

never, ever tell a girl you 'still have feelings for someone else' after you've just spent nine-amazing hours in bed. ever! i'm understanding...under the circumstances, it would make sense... i get what's going on... i'm not going to turn into psycho-bitch girl on you, but don't ruin my fabulous mood for the entire day by saying somehing like that... then babbling on for 5 minutes afterward about how you didn't mean it, and that was a 'wierd thing to say,' and yadah yadah yadah.

bahhhhhhh.

me = 23. you = cool, if you = suzy, mom, rich, jake, julie, oakley, teresa, reagan, woodrow, emily, justin, mandi, ethan, rob, katie, my ipod.

yesterday = death of sandra dee... which really fucking sucks, because i finally caught the original "Gidget" for the first time a few months ago, and loved it.

my step-brother is 21 today. golden and drunk, i'm sure.

also... it's presidents day. why am i working?!

Birthday

Happy Birthday To ME.
1:16am 2/20/1982

wooooooooooooooooooo.
trying to do 23 crazy things for my 23d.

accomplished two thus far...

1.dancing on the corner of larimer and 15th
2.having some shwanky handsome black guy ask for my number.

i'll have to get back to you on the rest, but hopefully they'll be worthwhile...

spendage!

I just spent around... $130 bucks on clothes today. sweet. i keep telling myself... birthday money... birthday money.

i have a new ipod. the picture ipod with music. i screamed when i opened my present (too early).

tonight... birthday tiara --- party dancin... funness with suzy. RAWK!

birthday weekend... and i'm the birthday bitch! rawr!

Arggg....

Today is the slowest day... EVER.

At 4:33PM...What am I doing?

Popping bubble wrap.

Uploading pictures from our Grand Opening Party:




Burning the Hot Project a disc, complete with Chris Martin and Adam Lavigne...Live.

and... waiting for tonight, Wo-oahh!

ROCKSTARS ARE DEAD: at The Walnut Room

It'll be a fun time... after i go home and take a nap... and write my article on Carrot Top. Weeee.

My job is so hard...on Fridays...when my boss is...hungover.

Bullshit!

Amidst my sick haze on twos-day...i rented some flicks at Blockbuster. It's beyond me why i still pay $30/month to come and go as i please with a three movie max when there's Netflix for $17.99, but a girls gotta waste her money somehow, i suppose...

Anyway... Among my selections:

Saw (18-days of production yielded a pretty decent psycho-thriller...not as great as se7en, but not to shabby).


Taxi (i.e. Queen Latifah and Mr. fallon dance around in a cab after Supermodels... i think? haven't seen it yet...)


Bullshit; Season 2 - Volume 1:
featuring:

Hypnosis
Death, Inc.
The Bible
12-stepping
Exercise vs. Genetics

When i first met this guy, we camped out on the couch for a night and watched a few episodes of this Showtime shtuff while conversing... so i decided it'd be good to get again...as most of the time when i get a chance to watch some film, i'm too tired to finish it, and a 1/2 hour-short seems fitting.

this particular show is sort of a daily show of collective crap. You believe in this? Psshh... you're on crack... and here are scientific reasons and testimonials as to why. i've always appreciated satire...and even more so when it makes people doubt their very morals and beliefs.

Wednesday = Hypnosis
(You, too can be hypnotized into making your penis bigger and revisting memories of being born between your mothers thigs). -- this was actually semi-cool because a portion of the material was taken from a hypnotist show done at NAU while i was at school there...

12-stepping? Apparently, AA is religion-based and punishing yourself and appologizing profusely to "GOD" (whether that be a rock or the almighty) is the only way to cure this 'disease'?

From being around a recovered alcoholic lately, i'm beginning to understand why he does certain things, and is the way he is... It has also been making me wonder if i should bring up, "hey... i saw this thing about your thing and did you know..." or if i'd be stepping on way too many toes and shattering something that this person has stablized themselves upon for the last year. Not that i'm saying Penn and Teller's Bullshit! sold me on the idea, but it's enough to make you question the actions behind '12-stepping.'

probably better not.

I watched Exercise vs. Genetics twice, mostly because i was on the phone the first time... partly because, well... isn't everyone sort of body-obsessed? Just proved what i've thought all along... Gotta work with what ya got, hos! WORK IT ALREADY! (Like Marylin, Dammit. She wasn't perfect)




Last nite, i tried to watch the shpiel on the bible, but was too involved in Yoga (which, by the way, is another topic on a second volume) and relaxed to totally pay attention... but what i had heard made sense. My grandmother would be so proud.

Spooooooky

Yes! Finally!

MARCH 18: THE RING TWO
check the site...go listen to scary music. thank god they got the same actors.


I caved today and opened my birthday package... not the presents/cards... just the box they came in... which is ok because those things are wrapped.

how freaking cute is my mom? I'll fucking tell you...

The birthday box was wrapped in bithday paper... then the flaps on the cardboard had a little smiley with "party in a box" written in sharpie.

Inside, i find a big-ass bottle of Champagne, little plastic wine glasses, party poppers, streamers, happy birthday plates/cups/napkins...a GI-NORMOUS Chocolate Chip Cookie with frosting around the edges and hand-drawn hearts and "love" drawn on it... and the best part...? A mother-fucking PINK BIRTHDAY GIRL TIARA. My mom's the bomb. Watch me take that to the bars Saturday Night and milk it for all it's worth.

Teresa-bones sent me a cute v-day card (love her) and oakley sent me a birthday card today that made me laugh my ass off for about an hour. i have the coolest family, and yes... i am bragging. thank you lord for giving me such cool peeps in my life. you're a mother fuckin rockstar, jesus!

Me thinks i'm also going to request some birthday love from the hot project as well. We'll see tho... i could just get smooches from hot boys all nite.

I love birthday! only 4 more days... and then the 21st will be a big-fat bummer because that marks 365 more days until my 24th.

my gawd... 24.

lame

i'm apparently not better yet.


and here i thot i'd be all spiffed up in one day.

i'm so tired, i feel like i look like nicole richie:
does she, or does she not, no matter how dolled...look tired all of the freaking time?

I say, yes. other's say, 'can it, sweetie. they're bedroom eyes.'

but yes...back to tired: that's how i feel.

and in order for me to make it down to the fort for burrito thursday with miss french, i'm going to have to turn in early tonight! i am so lame....

what else is lame? The Eisley show tonight got canceled.. grrrrrr...

but speaking of miss richie...the simple life is on tonight. it's some sort of strange addiction for me... embarassed to admit it, but there it is... in a nutshell. nicole got so much better looking this season... but she still looks tired.

Tuesday = Sick Day

I didn't go see Citizen Cope. No...I left work around four because my body completely shut down on me...

I slept from 4:30pm - 11am, (minus 2 hours of getting up for a bowl of soup)... roughly 17 hours. Holy freaking crap. I don't know if my weekend just caught up with me, or i caught some wierd flu or what, but i woke up drenched in sweat (hot!), with a large headache and my right leg still aching from heel to buttox. I have considered this soreness to be the cause of one of three things:

1. these new really hot heels i bought and walked up and down 16th street with rubbed a big gaping hole in my heel, and somehow, the achilles tendon snapped and caused some sort of trauma all over my entire leg.

2. sexual positions... (ruled out, because of course... i am a virgin *hush*...however, if this were true, why only the right leg?)

3. no... those were the only two. (unless you want to consider the pain didn't start until mid-valentines day... and that bitch CUPID struck me with the wrong arrow).

I don't know, but it's fucking annoying and now i have this stupid-ass limp when i walk around my apartment.

I had to go to the grocery store today because i had no food... spent $155 dollars... ouch. found some sweet brownies that are not only healthy, but fat-free. all-praise allah. But my heel still fucking hurts!

While browsing the grocery line, i caught a glimpse of US magazine.

JENNIFER ANNISTON DATING VINCE VAUGHN?!



i mean... nice choice, but already?!

sheesh.

i feel so non-up on the celebrity gossip right now... per usual... but i'm working on it.

Things i learned this weekend from spending two uninterupted days and nights with the hot project?

* everyone eventually does buy a cell phone (one thing i really liked about him...)
*he's been talking about me, despite the fact that we're "just hanging out" to his friends, who refer to me as "his little 22-year-old."
*he is suprisingly lax about sharing his toothbrush
*his bed has spiders in it.

OH YEAH... that was reason number three... i have thrice spider bites in my calf... thot maybe it was a poisonous spider...causing me to maybe loose my leg or something... but, i think maybe i'm just being over-zealous on that one.

are you tired of me yet? better quit while i'm ahead...
until tomorrow

(which, by the way, is Eisley at Larimer Lounge. Go!)

oh...and p.s. want to see a funny video of mr. simison?
check it: here

Happy Heart Day!

I love valentines... it's all about the love, baby.

I got lots of love this weekend... My best friend Sara came up Friday night... we drank way too much alcohol, devoured french toast, macaroni grill and then shopped all day. Sat. night, John took me to dinner and the ballet --- and just afterward? Boy time... didn't leave until this morning. quite a nice little side-track.

And katie, this is mostly for you, but for pure, viewing pleasure (albiet sort of blurry), i present to you:

The Hot Project:





What are all of you bitches doin' for Valentines tonight? Crying? Weeping into a box of kleenex...? Or are you one of the 'lucky ones' that will get a rose petal path to a limo, then drinks and dinner by candlelight and a sudsy bath full of champagne and your honey shmookie-wookie, pookie kitten?

*excuse me*

I'm sorry... i had to go throw up on someone's jacket.

I'm going to see Citizen Cope down at the Fox (and maybe grab some top-notch Chocolate Cake). You should go to... that is, unless... tickets are near sold out and you think you can beat me to the [ticket] punch... then... i'd say, rent some low-budget porn and order out chineese.

i thot since i'm feeling insicure about feeling pudgy (i have fat back syndrome, you know), i'd google 'back fat' and see what popped up:

We have the Fender... Some porn Chic... and a Miner


I'm taking this to mean I should be having wild sex (in pretty outfits) with a rockstar who has lots of money.

Hooray, Backfat. Hooray!

fun!

the last two days have been m to the o to the o to the d-y...

i'm thinking it's trying to make-up for missing three days of birth control by taking all three pills in one minute.

today: my boss started asking questions about my personal history... my family... and it got me thinking about how much i don't think about that shit -- i've just been living in the now. crap, man.. i forgot i'm supposed to be considering life goals here... (can't i just wait until the opportunity approaches, and i'll deal with it then?) please don't make me think about where i'm going to be in eight years.. i don't fucking know what/who i'm doing next Tuesday.

This whole dialogue made me start to think about the little pieces that make up people and which particular parts people hate:

let's see... who can we make an example of...

one: the other morning while driving to work, i think i sorta, kinda cut some girl off... i'm sure she hated my driving persona... but only for about three minutes.

two: we are trying to book a cd release party in march for this really sweet band... the guys are awesome... well, we accidently double booked. i called the guy and asked if we could reschedule... he left me a message like the following... "yeah... it worked out for all three bands, we already printed all of our fliers, and this just really sucks for everyone... (slop on the guilt... i felt horrible) i'm sure that guy really hated the flake factor/non-skilled schedule girl in samuela.


three: i consistently poke a friend of mine in the ribs. he fucking HATES that... but then he slapped me so hard yesterday that it literally left a handprint mark on my ass and i really fucking hate THAT little character trait.


four: the current flavor of the month called today to check on some work stuff... blew a gasket about his bandmate...then politely asked for me to attend his show...going on right now. i'm not there... i'm sure he hates that i'm not stageside supporting his thriving musical career (because it is thriving, and he is going to be big someday... just like the 18,972 other guys out there doing the same thing, by gosh!)

five: instead of someone disliking another part me, this is where i say, "i hate that i date musicians." and also that i really don't hate this particular musician at all. he's swell. he's gorgeous, and he's gone out of his way to be an absolute sweetheart...but i really, really hate this particular quality in me. they're so self-involved, and never really 'get it' when you subtle-y suggest moving on to another subject besides "their giant aspirations to make it in the music industry" i'll be your biggest fan... i'll support you, and make you feel good about what you're doing, but do you know how exhausting this job really is to take on?

i think this specific trait comes from growing up with a brother who has severe cerebral palsy... always taking lead with things as the first born, but still acting as a support to my brother... it wasn't an obligation, just a love thing, and also, what i think to be a huge reason that i somehow think that this whole 'musican' relationship idea seems to aid a need to forget about one's own personal shit and really help someone else out with their own.




six: i'm guessing this is the part where you say, "i hate that sami is so self-involved." An entire fucking post dedicated to how fucking fucked up she is! Yaaaaay!

me, me, me... i, i, i. pssshhhh. shut the fuck up, biiiitttchhhhes. you're so self-centered for even thinking such a thing!