The word of the day is: EXPLODE
Ever think about how funny that word is? Explode. Say it.
I didn't realize how funny it was until i tried to successfully transfer my two cats from my CO home to my SD home with me in the car today.
Holiday did great. Maynard, on the other hand... seems to have a ginormous fear of automobiles. I was driving downtown to pick up some presents and i hear a loud bang in the backseat... I turn around and see that maynard's butt has exploded all over the passenger seat floormat... leaving way too many traces of debri all over my backseat, as well. sweet. he threw up too... then proceeded to hang over the back seat with a spittily puke beard... then every once in awhile, would stare out the back window at random cars, point his tongue and do this weird panting thing.
So i drove them home... really sad. Because it meant they had to spend christmas alone, even after the trouble of getting in the car. i made them both cry and upset. i felt horrible. I went and got a towel and carried maynard inside, then left for the grocery store for some food and litter.
It was a bad day. Just one of those occasions where it seems like everyone is out to fuckin' piss you off. All the cars on the road either drove five miles an hour, cut me off, or for whatever reason felt the need to be insanely obnoxious in whichever way the possibly fucking could.
At the grocery store, I had to wait in line for about 20 minutes while this rather large woman stood in front of her self check-out register and waited for an attended to bring her a zip-locked bag of ham. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
When i got home, my temper exploded and a tantrum insued. I didn't notice that my door was still wide open when i was screaming profanities at the top of my lungs, nor did i seem to have any consideration for the really chatty gladys kravitz neighbors below me, because i was stomping and throwing heavy things. Mature, i know. Sure i made quite the impression.
Something else happened on my drive back that inevitably made me burst into tears... and made me angry at myself, mostly. but whatever. fuck that.
Just not my favorite day. But... Christmas is in three, i'm at home and my mom ordered Boomerang on Direct TV, plus i have a fresh copy of Napoleon Dynamite for the next week. so really, things are looking up.
I"m about to crash in, argueably, the most comfortable bed on earth, so there ya go. let the christmas weight gain begin.
-----------------------------------
my severe want, but am a long way from getting it list:
1. a new car... i'm thinkin maybe a jeep grand cherokee, forest green... sunroof, sweet sound system, no leather seats (too cold).
2. an apple computer... mac laptop would be cool too.
3. an ipod.
4. my groceries/bills paid for a year.
5. a new phone
6. really soft flannel sheets
7. a spa day... or 5 (included with facial, mud bath, massage, etc. etc. etc.) after which i would take an enormous nap in my new sheets.
8. a moped
9. a sweet loft apartment
10. a suck-you-into-its-comfort couch.
that'll be good. oh... and maybe a "make me a smitten kitten" gentleman caller type that's polite, handsome, has great hands and hair, unique style, sparkling eyes, good taste in music, really tall, really funny and apt to be nice to me for an extended amount of time... all while being my best friend and never getting sick of me.
this would be prime.
I didn't realize how funny it was until i tried to successfully transfer my two cats from my CO home to my SD home with me in the car today.
Holiday did great. Maynard, on the other hand... seems to have a ginormous fear of automobiles. I was driving downtown to pick up some presents and i hear a loud bang in the backseat... I turn around and see that maynard's butt has exploded all over the passenger seat floormat... leaving way too many traces of debri all over my backseat, as well. sweet. he threw up too... then proceeded to hang over the back seat with a spittily puke beard... then every once in awhile, would stare out the back window at random cars, point his tongue and do this weird panting thing.
So i drove them home... really sad. Because it meant they had to spend christmas alone, even after the trouble of getting in the car. i made them both cry and upset. i felt horrible. I went and got a towel and carried maynard inside, then left for the grocery store for some food and litter.
It was a bad day. Just one of those occasions where it seems like everyone is out to fuckin' piss you off. All the cars on the road either drove five miles an hour, cut me off, or for whatever reason felt the need to be insanely obnoxious in whichever way the possibly fucking could.
At the grocery store, I had to wait in line for about 20 minutes while this rather large woman stood in front of her self check-out register and waited for an attended to bring her a zip-locked bag of ham. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
When i got home, my temper exploded and a tantrum insued. I didn't notice that my door was still wide open when i was screaming profanities at the top of my lungs, nor did i seem to have any consideration for the really chatty gladys kravitz neighbors below me, because i was stomping and throwing heavy things. Mature, i know. Sure i made quite the impression.
Something else happened on my drive back that inevitably made me burst into tears... and made me angry at myself, mostly. but whatever. fuck that.
Just not my favorite day. But... Christmas is in three, i'm at home and my mom ordered Boomerang on Direct TV, plus i have a fresh copy of Napoleon Dynamite for the next week. so really, things are looking up.
I"m about to crash in, argueably, the most comfortable bed on earth, so there ya go. let the christmas weight gain begin.
-----------------------------------
my severe want, but am a long way from getting it list:
1. a new car... i'm thinkin maybe a jeep grand cherokee, forest green... sunroof, sweet sound system, no leather seats (too cold).
2. an apple computer... mac laptop would be cool too.
3. an ipod.
4. my groceries/bills paid for a year.
5. a new phone
6. really soft flannel sheets
7. a spa day... or 5 (included with facial, mud bath, massage, etc. etc. etc.) after which i would take an enormous nap in my new sheets.
8. a moped
9. a sweet loft apartment
10. a suck-you-into-its-comfort couch.
that'll be good. oh... and maybe a "make me a smitten kitten" gentleman caller type that's polite, handsome, has great hands and hair, unique style, sparkling eyes, good taste in music, really tall, really funny and apt to be nice to me for an extended amount of time... all while being my best friend and never getting sick of me.
this would be prime.
posted by Sami Jo at
3:30 AM
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