Lemon-flavored WarHeads

I just ran stairs up at Red Rocks. You should try that out. It kicked my ass. Literally. If it doesn't kick yours, then i commend you for being in such ridiculously great shape.

Ready...GO!

I feel sooooo bitter and angry today. The bitterest analogy i could think of was a lemon-flavored WarHead. Member those? I think they came about just around the time of Pogs and Digi-Pets.

I could go off in a huge self-pitty rant, but that helps no one (including me), so i'm just going to supress the rage and go scream into a pillow...

Try

- nelly furtado

i wish i hadn't seen
all of the realness
and all the real people
are really not real at all...

the more i learn, the more i cry
as i say goodbye to a way of life i thot i had designed for me

and i see you standing there
wanting more from me
and all i can do is try
and i see you standing there
i'm all i'll ever be
but all i can do is try.

all of the moments that already passed
try to go back and make them last
all of the things we want each other to be
we never will be.
we never will be that wonderful...
that's life.

we all ... are affraid of love

Open the door for you Mystery Date...

I hate first dates.
So much so, that I often try to avoid them at all costs... which is probably why i'm single most of the time. It's not so bad when it's "Hey, me and my buddies are going to do this, and I'd really love if you joined us !"

casual. cool. calm. collected.

But when you make a huge effort to have dinner, or have serious plans when you're not really that sure about each other (you know when you know... i know you do, you know you do. stop lying to yourself), that's just bizarre and terrifying.

I never really started dating until freshman year of college. This being the case, because when I was in high school, the only men that paid attention to me were:
A: married
B: 35
C: uh... Radio DJs

Uh.. unethical, immoral, illegal, and groooooosss. you get the jist.

When I was 19, I remember driving back to Flagstaff, Arizona my sophomore year of college. I had been pursued by this guy (#1) for three months straight that I had met shortly before I left in May to go home for the summer. In fact, he wanted to see me so much when i arrived in AZ that he pretty much demanded that he take me to Olive Garden for dinner ...eh.. yeah... not three hours after I had pulled into my apartment complex. (by the way... the correct answer here would have been to offer to bring over take out and help me unpack).

I got nervous, panicked... and invted my roomates... OH, and their friend that I had never met before. No biggie. The guy was totally cool with it, and dinner was... akward, but the attention was taken off me because of the added company, which was really my main goal.

Afterward, though, we dropped my roomies back at the apartment, and headed over to his place to watch a movie of mine. Hell, he was so into it, he even went to Walmart and bought a VCR after dinner so that we could participate in some quality alone time on the couch (pshyeah).

As soon as I sat down on his couch, I felt wierd. I felt tired from driving so much and upset because I wasn't sure I had made the right decision about going back to school at NAU. He lit some candles, presumably to "set the mood" (i.e. tacky) and I quickly decided, "Hey... I'm going to go."

Not five seconds after I had walked out the door, he was on the phone with another girl making plans.

Quality.

I should have taken it as a warning sign, but that was to be the beginning of a very interesting relationship... and now a friendship that I'm sure, despite current circumstances, will last both of our lifetimes.

Two years and a lot of strife later...

The beginning of my Senior year (third day of school), I saw this really tall, really adorable boy (#2) across the room of my communication law class. I knew the moment I saw him that he'd be around in my life for a considerable amount of time. Gut feeling. He kept catchin my eye during the entire syllabus read-off, and at the end of class, I purposely walked by him to maybe get his attention, plus i love making people a tad uncomfortable by actually making eye-contact. He very sheepishly said, "hey" and I walked out to my car smiling.

To my pleasant suprise, he was in my class again the following night. I decided I could pull the usual fraidy cat routine or do something about it. So I walked up and sat down in the chair right next to him. I told him I needed his number to borrow a book or something (all lies), not knowing we'd end up hanging out that night (under odd circumstances that involved helping out a kid in our class with moving a bike. hahaha -- i still want to know how a bicycle was fit into a two-door civic, clown-mobile style).

A few days later, my friend Suzy drove up from Phoenix and we got appauling drunk off of ONE Bellini at Oregano's. I kept talking about the boy and she kept persuading me to call him. Too scary. So she took my phone, found his name, and dialed. I got a machine and left THE worst message in the history of all messages EVER left on a machine. EVER. About a minute into it, Suzy grabbed the phone and was like, "Oh my god. hang up! HANG UP!"

I was appauled. And mortified. And pretty much screwed... until i looked at my phone and realized i had called someone else with the same name.

Victory! I was given a second chance.

"So uh.. we're going to see a show and uh... do you remember me? I was wondering if you wanted to go?"

He was all about meeting up. Total sweetheart. Boy #1 saw me walk out with him to go home to drink tea and eat cookies, per Suzy's request, and suddenly got all attentive. Boys are so stupid. Why are you only interested when we've lost interest in you (seriously... answer this for me)?

Beside the point...i still totally love that kid. Without question. Quality, grade A, top choice meat.

My point is (i know i skip around a lot)... the whole first date thing sucks. I wish you could just surpass the akward uncomfortableness and fast forward to the comfortable silences and non-chalantness that just makes things easy. Oh.. and the occasional, really cheezy movie moments (gay). I still get pretty butterfly-ish whenever i'm around boy #2, but it's not scary first date butterflies. Just... "it's really good to be around you" ones.

Regardless, i was supposed to have a first date tonite with a guy that I was already apprehensive about. I didn't really feel like going, so I decided not to. After he called me... let me count...SEVEN times today (twice from a different number), he kind of made my mind up for me...

eep opp ork ahah

i had to post this for good measure. just cause howard is a goofball. gotta love him.

She's a bad Mama Jama...

I went in to the Elephant Bar today for something I had forgotten when I got hired, and they told me that I didn't have to come back in again until NEXT thursday to find out about orientation. Which means...that I can most likely hit up Jamie Cullum next week. yae! the tables have turned.

I slept until 2:30today. Ridonkulous. Kitty and I are going to do some work and watch movies. I'm thinking of maybe purchasing some logs for the fireplace... i've got the nice shag rug and some floor pillows... and WINE! Sounds like the perfect plan for seduction.

bow-chica-wow-wow...

Mind Spotless the of Sunshine Eternal

I've weighed my options.

Stay up late to do some writing/watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
vs.
Going to bed and maintaining a somewhat sane sleeping schedule (i.e. NOT 5am-1pm)

Well.. it's 3:43am right now, so i'm guessing you can figure that one out for yourself...

The way i just wrote that opening shpiel reminded me of all that case study crap i had to do in my Communication Law classes a year ago. Blech.

Eternal Sunshine is so clever. It could have been a serious disaster. But, I suppose that's what all the good directors in hollywood get paid to do...

"How happy is the blameless vessels lot
The world forgetting by the world forgot
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
Each prayer accepted, and each wish resigned."

i wouldn't so much mind having a relationship like the one in this film...

Me: "Hi - i'm going to be extremely forward and scare the hell-out-of you but... you're not really
going to be scared."

You: "...O.K."

It's too bad that 86.4928% of people (in a test performed by an extremely thorough psychologist) are beyond jaded from past relationships. It's also sad that my smashing young man-to-be is still being polished off and perfected by future ex-girlfriends.

Sometimes, I think... it's a shame that process takes so damn long... And other times...it's cool to know that i have no bloody idea who that person is and it's going to be so much fun when i finally get to see said handsome, handsome man. Sort of like a big fat suprise party... and i haven't even the slightest idea of when "the event" will take place.

"This is a memory you had of me when you wanted to have sex on the couch after you looked down at my CROTCH."
hahahaha.

I'm beginning to notice more and more how music-obsessed i am. That trait surfaces even more so when i'm around those who aren't interested in the least about the latest cd-release, hit single on the radio, or hip-hop show at some hole-in-the wall bar I snuck into after pizza by the slice last week. I'm also beginning to notice... that i write really, really long sentences.

You know what really sucks? I have so much to write about, and vent about, and talk about...

but before we go into a *slight* rant... we're going to replace a "not-so-nice" word with the word "puppy."

Tonight was severely puppied up... but i find it unfair to subject those things to something that can be nationally accessed. Maybe one day i'll just snap and go off... and you can all point and laugh and say, "Look! there goes the old crazy lady. I hear she lives with 32 cats and eats nothing but Cap'n Crunch and Sardines for breakfast."

Then you will meet those people that drove me to that point. The rumors will stop. And you will have a new-found respect for the mother puppy shite i've put up with for the last three years of my mother puppy life. Bahhh... it's all over and done with now, anyway.

"WOO HOOO."


Everyone - this friday, pick up a copy of THE FRONT magazine. It's brand spankin' new, and best of all.. it's FREE! Hurrah...

EVERYONE'S HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY:
Thanks to a planet in your constellation, big things are coming your way. Big things may include but are not limited to: A great job. A very fat person trying to befriend you. A winning sweepstakes entry. The ability to get your holiday shopping done before the day before the holiday. A pissed off poodle (a " standard sized " a.k.a. large poodle. Large poodles look like wimps but beware for they have very large teeth and are tired of being thought of as pasty's). A big crush on a Gemini that is returned in a big way.

CUR-SED! Noooooooooo!

Jamie Cullum will be at the Soiled Dove Saturday, Oct. 9 for jeez..... $10 burritos. I think i'll have to work. Noooooooooooooo! :*-( Excuse me while i cry my eyes out.

If you're free that night, GO! He's amazing live--- he's a little ball of energy, plus the Dove is a wicked cool venue...

dammit, bobby.

And now the bright spot of my day...

And now… a second go.

I just typed up this really long shpiel and AOL shut down on me. I’m going to have to call the authorities. I am annnnnngry!

I enjoy this winding down bit at the end of my now (and finally) busy days. Especially after writing very art history-like papers on places in Italy that I have yet to visit. I’ve devised a plan, though, and I think I may just put all the money I make from these projects towards a passport and plane ticket to Europe. Now that I’ve mastered the fine art of wearing a hat and extending the waiting period between showers, I think I could handle a yet-to-be decided slice of time over on a different continent. All I need is my portable disc player, a sweet mix of music and… me! An Ipod would be nice, too… I would need a catsitter though...


I think I could really get into the whole freelance thing. I chill at home and work on things at my own pace, which is fine as long as I get it done. Holiday likes it, too. She likes chillin' on my shag rug. She's usually just happy as long as I'm around.

Now that I have a few different venues in which to actually use my mad skills in the writing world, I’m actually enjoying myself. It’s so odd, because I still feel like I’m writing feature stories for Mary Tolan (she rocks casbah) back at NAU or Art-History papers for… whatever that teacher’s name is. I actually couldn’t tell you, because I, uh… never went to class. Woops.

I finally picked up my Musician's Atlas ($42!) today down at the book store. I special ordered it about three weeks ago to help kick off the whole booking agency thing with one of my favorite girls...

This book has every possible content you'd ever need to be even remotely involved in the biz:
College Radio and Venues
Major and Indie Labels
Promotion
E-marketing
Tour Support

I seriously believe that anyone can do anything they want to. And not just because I have ridiculously high ambition. Anyone can purchase an, "(Insert topic of interest) For Dummies!" Edition and get started on whatever they want. There's just that whole actually following through with the great things you talk about in life... And that illiteracy thing.

MUSIC BREAK:
In lieu of my upcoming endeavors as a booking agent/manager, I urge you to check out a couple of bands:
The Loveblisters



Quartus



There is the coolest guy down at Jason's Deli off of Union that always hooks me up major. Last time I ran in (literally) he served me up a meal completely free of cash exchange, and tonite he added a ton of extra sustenance to my little brown sandwich bag. You should go. Tell him "Ralph" sent you!

I’m also meeting a lot of really cool guys down here that actually accept me for me. Haha. Who knew?

What?

There are guys that are actually gentleman, and call when they say they will and aren’t a walking excuse for every event that even slightly involves their presence? I had no idea… This is news to me.

And pleasant news at that, despite all the bad shtuff I hear on Channel 9 every night.

Instead, I choose to be ignorant.

But I can tell you who Renee Zelweger is dating:

(Jackie white)

And who Alanis is settling down with for the rest of her life:

(Ryan Reynolds, a.k.a. Van Wilder... so unfair)


And also a bunch of really random, really good bands you should be checking out!:(click the photo to check the band)

So Fresh and so Clean, Clean!

Ok. Ground control to Major Tom. Kids...we had a problem.


I could not, for the life of me, get my dashboard to work over at the old website, so i'm starting a new one, because it's been far too long since i've been able to write and I've had quite a bit to write about...

So continued from HERE ...

"Here I go again on my own..."

This weekend was fun.

I finished up an article on Tuscany for the Eurotravel deal and headed down to Ft. Collins to chill with my best girl... we ended up at King Soopers around 12:30am trying on low-budget halloween costumes, whilst taking pictures with the nearest one-time-use camera. Those should be hilarious photos, and will be posted upon development.

I came back (just in time for five o'clock traffic) to shower and head downtown for some Illegal Pete's. Mmm... Good. Except that... during the Snow Patrol concert I attended immeadiately following, I got the worst stomache ache and couldn't fully enjoy the concert (no jumping up and down... sad). But Eisley and the patrol of white powder were both equally awesome. I love $12 concerts at the Blue Bird.

Rich (my stepdad) and Brandon (step bro) are in town this weekend, so it's been sports-mania the entire time.

Rich is an amazing photographer... and luckily, his hobby has turned into a part-time job. He currently shoots for baseball and football playing cards, as well as sports magazines. Last December, his photo of Priest Holms covered the Sports Illustrated for Kids front. Yae!

While he was down in the photo pit, Brandon and I camped out in the first-row behind the first base line (and the Rockies dugout) and cheered for the Cardinals. We also were swarmed at the end of every inning by a busload of children diving across the aisles for a chance to snag a baseball. Which brings me to another story...

This man and his three children sat directly behind us. So annoying. Michael and the other son, who's was totally unmentioned, were scolded and told repeatedly they were going to be "kicked out of the park and put in time out" while his eldest son Steven got mad praise and encouragement to get a ball (most likely for his dad). When he failed to do so, the man would say:

"Man! Come on, Steve-O! You gotta be meaner and more tough! If I were up there, I would have gotten three balls by now!"

Uh... right...

"Are you ready for the Perfect Peanut, Steven?!"

Uhh...yeah dad. I'm not scared at all...

And... who asks their four-year-old son why the Cubs gave up four runs in the 9th inning. Dude... leave the kid alone.

Furthermore... Boston beat Yankees by like, 12 points today --- something like that. I know it was your birthday and all, Jonny boy, but...Ha, HA!

I checked out another Cards/Rockies game today as well (I now have a mini-crush on Jorge Piedra) and sat out at ESPNzone for four hours watching the Raider/Bucs game. Fun times. I think i've filled my sports quota for the next month...

Meanwhile, my life is stable... but the people around me not so much. I've been really sick lately supressing all their stress for them. Lame... I hate that I do that. If anyone knows a good massage therapist in Denver, hit me up --- just to chat, this is Sam...


(On a Side Note)
I've been reading a new book that I saw on (don't kill me)... OPRAH! It's hilarious and written by a writer and a consultant of Sex and the City (comedian Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo).
First:


He Says:
Oh Sure, they say they're busy. They say that they didn't have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. All lies. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing, it is almost impossible not to call you. Sometimes, I call people from my pants pocket when I don't even mean to. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you.

She Says:
I don't know why, but I've dated a lot of alcoholics. Or, as I would have probably said at the time, "guys who like to drink a lot." I really don't know why. There isn't alcoholism anywhere in my family. I'm not a big drinker myself. I think I just always thought they were fun. I loved when my boyfriend climbed the water tower at my friend's roof part wedding while he was bombed out of his mind and exposed himself to everyone. I thought it was hilarious. And when that guy, drunk, lit a pack of firecrackers in his kitchen just to make me laugh? Well, that was adorable. I found it particularly amusing when my boyfriend disappeared for a week and, after a lot of calling, I found out he moved back in with his ex-girlfriend.

Perhaps this is just my pathetic little "self-help" book of the year, but it makes some good points, while making you laugh; sort of like "Feel this Book" by Garafalo and Stiller.

Second:

This is my most, most, most, most, MOST favorite, "I'm-bitter-about-the-end-of-my- relationship" book in the entire world. I loaned it out to a girlfriend two years ago and I have yet to get it back, Which is O.K., because you can purchase it on Amazon for about $2. SOOO funny.

The Aries Bastard
March 21-April 20
Once upon a time, in the Dark Ages, there was this quaint little term known as a man's man. Nobody knew quite what it meant. Except the poor unfortunate thing who was the man's man's woman -- and she died a horrible death when she willfully stuck her head in the oven unto which she was chained.

Then come more enlightened times and in minces the sensitive New Age Feeling Fellow. All of a sudden, a man's man surely must mean a gentleman of the pink persuasion and, gee, don't those scented candles look too, too, utterly utterly?

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, deep in the woods, a solitary male is yelling at the top of his lungs, beating a tom-tom and sticking pins into a blow-up doll that looks a lot like Gloria Steinem. This sad, lost soul is the Aries guy. Bewildered by beauty myths, dumbfounded by day-care centers, and completely baffled by consensual sex, he holds on to his masculinity as tightly as he holds on to his manhood (which is throbbing, if you must know). Boy, does he yearn for the times when men were men and women were grateful.

Being the only man's man left in existence, it's lonely for him at the bottom of the food chain -- even the amoebas, given the chance, opt to mate with themselves.

And thank bloody Christ for that.



Really, no offense to you boys out there... it's just a humorous way to laugh off heart break :)
p.s. Happy 51st Wedding Anniversary to my Grandparents :0)