What's it Worth to You?

There's a time or five i can recall just nearly being caught masterbating... but i'm quick and sly and it's not like i'm embarassed i do it - but it is a rather private event, and not something i'd really enjoy having anyone sit in on... unless you paid me, oh... $50,000 a pop. (ha...a pop).

And while it's not my first option... sex toys are great. grand. wonderful. I'd guestimate every... oh... 4th american has one.

Would I talk to my mom about it?

Probably not.

But would I lie and say I had explosives in order to save face in my sexual gratification?

Ha...

Sex-aid excuse bombs with airport security
Man traveling with mother says pump is a grenade


Thursday, August 24, 2006;
Chicago (Illinois)
Crime, Law and Justice

CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) -- Cook County prosecutors say a 29-year-old man traveling with his mother desperately didn't want her to know he'd packed a sexual aid for their trip to Turkey.
So he told security it was a bomb, officials said.

Madin Azad Amin, 29, of Skokie, Illinois, was stopped August 16 after guards found an object in his baggage that resembled a grenade, prosecutors said.

When officers asked him to identify it, Amin said it was a bomb, said Cook County Assistant State's Attorney Lorraine Scaduto.

He later told officials he'd lied about the item because his mother was nearby and he didn't want her to hear that it was part of a penis pump, Scaduto said.

He's been charged with felony disorderly conduct, said Andrew Conklin, a spokesman with the Cook County state's attorney's office.

Amin's attorney told a Cook County judge Wednesday that Amin whispered that the component was a "pump." The guard misunderstood, and thought he said "bomb," according to defense attorney Eileen O'Neill-Burke.

"He told her it's a pump," O'Neill-Burke said. "He's standing with his mother. Of course he's not going to shout this out."

However, Judge Gerald Winiecki decided there was sufficient evidence for the case to move forward after the female security guard testified that she heard Amin "clearly" say the word bomb.

Amin is charged with felony disorderly conduct, which could bring a three-year prison sentence if he's convicted. Amin is due back in court September 13

He told the Chicago Sun-Times after the hearing that security officials did not give him a chance to explain the misunderstanding, that he would never use the word "bomb" while going through a security checkpoint, and does not consider a penis pump an unusual object to own.

"It's normal," he said. "Half of America they use it."

Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.