The Sexiest Day That Ever Was...
For Paris, it's video taping sex-rendevous with Shannan Doherty's ex... For Britney it's making an entire album that screams "pelvic girations" in each song that the hand-crafted sound guy mixed oh-so-carefully together... And for Clinton, it was having that slutty intern propped up against the bottom of his desk while he so slyly made phone calls to National Abmassadors.
Damn, that's hot.
For me, however... It's being appauled and stunned beyond recognition at the ripe-age of 16. So what does this entail exactly?
July 1998:
In my biking-obsessive days, i would ride across town on the bike path to work out at the YMCA, then bike back when i was finished... all in all, an 8 mile, two-hour daily project.
Twenty minutes into my trip, I spotted a man under the Baken Park bridge doing, what i thot, was fishing. Though Process went as follows:
Wow, that guy has a really nice chest.
I bet he is fishing.
Oh...my...god. He's not wearing pants. He's...NAKED!
Oh...he's....
EWW EWW EWWW HE"S MASTERBATING.
I AM SO CORRUPTED!!!!!!!!
I rode off yelling "ew. ew. ew. ew." for about 2 miles when i came upon something else...
Because i was 100 degrees out, I was riding around in windpants and a sportsbra. Maybe not my brightest moment... Some guy in a beat-up old brown car, probably from 1973, actually pulled over to tell me to come back to his house later. Appauling.
Later that night, my best friend Sara and I were crusing downtown in my Silver Chevrolet Pick-up (how cool are we? not very). We stopped on Main St. across from Video Blue: the premier spot for adult video to leave harrassment notes on the perverted old men of rapid who were inside purchasing triple x film material.
The notes were harmless really, just a "Have fun choking the chicken," or "Go home to our wife and kids." Stupid high school humor.
While sitting across the street waiting for reactions, we had noticed a small red geo-metro circle the block and then come back and park next to us. We thought we were in some kind of trouble.
Some chick and her husband get out of the car...:
Chick: "Hey Guys... is this your truck?"
Me: "Uh... yeah."
Shit... we're in trouble.
Chick: "This is really nice."
No it's not.
Me: "yeah..."
Chick: "So... me and my husband are wondering if you and your friend would be up for...a Foursome."
Me: (blatant) "NOOOOOO!"
Chick: "Oh.. well do you know anyone inside who would be."
Me: "Uh.. no. We're waiting for our friend and he's totally straight."
Sara repeatedly said, "Sam... Sam... oh my god?"
I waited till the car drove off around the corner and then screamed my lungs out.
Maybe that's not so wierd in NYC or big city Vegas... but in population 65,000 RAPID CITY, SD!?!?!
Sexiest day that ever was... Though it may be rivaling with today, as the hot musician boy that came in last week looking for a Studio space just stopped in with his guitar looking particularly yummy, sat down in the hallway, serenaded me and left his phone number.
*sigh*
Damn, that's hot.
For me, however... It's being appauled and stunned beyond recognition at the ripe-age of 16. So what does this entail exactly?
July 1998:
In my biking-obsessive days, i would ride across town on the bike path to work out at the YMCA, then bike back when i was finished... all in all, an 8 mile, two-hour daily project.
Twenty minutes into my trip, I spotted a man under the Baken Park bridge doing, what i thot, was fishing. Though Process went as follows:
Wow, that guy has a really nice chest.
I bet he is fishing.
Oh...my...god. He's not wearing pants. He's...NAKED!
Oh...he's....
EWW EWW EWWW HE"S MASTERBATING.
I AM SO CORRUPTED!!!!!!!!
I rode off yelling "ew. ew. ew. ew." for about 2 miles when i came upon something else...
Because i was 100 degrees out, I was riding around in windpants and a sportsbra. Maybe not my brightest moment... Some guy in a beat-up old brown car, probably from 1973, actually pulled over to tell me to come back to his house later. Appauling.
Later that night, my best friend Sara and I were crusing downtown in my Silver Chevrolet Pick-up (how cool are we? not very). We stopped on Main St. across from Video Blue: the premier spot for adult video to leave harrassment notes on the perverted old men of rapid who were inside purchasing triple x film material.
The notes were harmless really, just a "Have fun choking the chicken," or "Go home to our wife and kids." Stupid high school humor.
While sitting across the street waiting for reactions, we had noticed a small red geo-metro circle the block and then come back and park next to us. We thought we were in some kind of trouble.
Some chick and her husband get out of the car...:
Chick: "Hey Guys... is this your truck?"
Me: "Uh... yeah."
Shit... we're in trouble.
Chick: "This is really nice."
No it's not.
Me: "yeah..."
Chick: "So... me and my husband are wondering if you and your friend would be up for...a Foursome."
Me: (blatant) "NOOOOOO!"
Chick: "Oh.. well do you know anyone inside who would be."
Me: "Uh.. no. We're waiting for our friend and he's totally straight."
Sara repeatedly said, "Sam... Sam... oh my god?"
I waited till the car drove off around the corner and then screamed my lungs out.
Maybe that's not so wierd in NYC or big city Vegas... but in population 65,000 RAPID CITY, SD!?!?!
Sexiest day that ever was... Though it may be rivaling with today, as the hot musician boy that came in last week looking for a Studio space just stopped in with his guitar looking particularly yummy, sat down in the hallway, serenaded me and left his phone number.
*sigh*
posted by Sami Jo at
5:51 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home