It burns, burns burns...

I have this insecurity burning a giant hole in my heart.

It hurts.

Which is funny, because it's over someone that is no longer my man. I mean, my heart is totally and completely still mixed up with him (henceforth, making this insecurity valid) but it's one that I NEVER had when I was with him. And i'm about 130% sure that I have no need to worry about this issue at all, but because I have a need to keep things in control, and I'm not there to manage, I have an obscenely painful ache in the left side of my chest.

Right now, after one very terrible friday night last weekend, I'm sitting in my hometown more confused than anything. I know what happened is wrong, but I"ve already forgiven the action and still feel immense love for this person.

Is this just a great presence of unconditional love and trust, or a flaming lack of self-respect?

That's the question I need an answer to.