Babies and Babies and Babies, oh My!

So, I can't pull of an April Fools Joke to save my life.
I feel too bad lying.
So for everyone who did, you are eeevil!

I had a bizarre dream Thursday Night:

I was nine months pregnant, and then some.
And i woke up and thought,

"You Know... i haven't gone to the doctor this entire pregnancy. I should probably go check this deal out."

So i went. He said, "Yep. You're pretty overdue. Wait another week and if you're not with child by then, we'll induce you with some good 'ol drugs!"

I came home. Here. To my apartment. By Myself. Where there were no diapers; no baby clothes; no crib. No essentials required for housing a newborn. This baby inside me (i think it was a girl) was just like someone had sent me one of those coupon mailers, and since it seemed a little intriguing, i set it on my kitchen counter, just incase i wanted to venture a little furthur into the delivery...

Except this was a baby... and it was sitting in my body. Waiting for me to raise it.

I wasn't anxious, or nervous or stressed out. There was no dad in the picture, and it wasn't a big deal. Like i said... it was a very non-chalant sort of a deal.

I stood naked in my bathroom, testing the shower water with my hand, while placing my other hand on firmly on my stomach.

The baby kicked.

Hard.

And i could tell it was in a breach postion.

Fuck...This is going to HURT...

I wondered if I got into the shower, and my water broke... would i be able to tell? or would i just have to go into labor in my bathtub?

then i woke up, feeling retardedly unrested from working in the dreamworld.
got into the shower and felt wierd about it all day...

I read somewhere that pregnancy in dreams means a huge creative change is coming about. Soon. And the baby kicking meant the creativity was just dying to get out.

My boss, however, had a different translation:

"Oooh! Someone's ready to get married and have a family!"

Either way... i'm excited to see what happens.

I'm sort of feeling like i'm on the verge of a kick-ass love-of-a-lifetime endeavor. Despite my flakiness, indecision, and constant worry of never knowing exactly what i want...I'm about... 96% sure that i'm ready for it this time.

and...on another note

I've been feeling very unfinished with the hot project. Being unresolved with people drives me crazy.

Tuesday's exchanged sucked ass. i still felt like last nite was unresolved. suzy told me to call him about a million times. i said 'no.'

I honestly think i've adapted a Kate Beckinsale perspective (a la Serendipity), in that I've stopped trying to control shit and just accepted that if something is supposed to happen, then it will.

Per chance, suzy and i happened to be heading out of the parking lot at work to head home for awhile...and meet up with a white oldsmobile, head-on in the parking lot. Not an accident, we just couldn't drive either way because of the bad traffic flow through the lot.

The oldsmobile pulls onto the parking lot, leaving us just enough room to slide by.

Who steps out of the passenger door? yep.
i stop, roll down suzy's window and wait. expecting him to look over, and say 'hey' through the passenger side. Instead, he glaces up, sees me, and walks instantly over to my side, tries to fit his entire upper body through my car window and stretches out akwardly to give me a hug.

i unfasted my seat belt, opened my door and got out.
grabbed one of the best hugs i've had this year.
had i a sense of smell, i'm sure i would have sucked in some boy pheramones.
we both mention quickly we miss each other.

don't be a stranger...

so i'm not. i called tonight to hang out...but am a little annoyed because i've never been one to call people.

i like being called.

he somehow managed to bag a wireless plan where he can't call long distance.
so i have to do all of the calling.
SUCK
i called him tonight and told him "since he had a zach morris phone circa 1989, he needed to find another way to get ahold of me."



i'd call me back.
but i guess time will tell.
atleast there isn't some looming uncomfortableness anymore.
door back open for business.

i went to fever pitch tonight... one of those feel-good movies.
and it sort of put me back on the straight-and-narrow toward wanting me some jimmy fallon - drew barrymore' relationship loveness

not in a, 'three-some' sort of way.
just a ... relationship like that.

but like the dream forshadowed... it's coming, dammit!

it also put me on the trail of thinking that next time i get my hair done, i am going red.

Lastly... [i know... i'm finally going to ... stop talking.]
Ever been to Denver International Airport at 1am?

Sort of feels like You're in Garden State.


that's all she wrote.

But The Strokes wrote this. And i've played it about 80 times today.
I love it.

Automatic Stop
So many fish there in the sea
I wanted you, you wanted me
That's just a phase, it's got to pass
I was a train moving too fast


Didn't understand what to see
Yeah, then I got a different view.
It's you...

Wait, i'm gonna give it a break.
I'm not your friend.
I never was.
I said, 'Wait. I'm gonna give it a break.'
I'm not your friend.
I never was.

So many fish there in teh sea
She wanted him, he wanted me
That's just a phase, it's got to pass.
I was a train moving too fast.

Yeah, I know you warned me
But this is too important
Now i got a different view.
It's you...

Why can't you wait?
I'm gonna give it a break
I'm not your friend,
I never was
I said, 'wait. I'm gonna give it a break.'
I'm not your friend.
I never was.